“1 Billion Seconds”: Experts Share the Secrets to Keeping Love Alive
True love always finds a way…
That was the case for Poppy and Geoff Spencer. The Spencers were college sweethearts almost a lifetime ago. After separating before they graduated college, Poppy and Geoff went on to live separate lives involving marriages, divorces and children before rekindling their love decades later.
The beautiful thing about this couple is that they do not regret the lives they have lived. Instead, the have a immense respect for what life has taught them and wish to share with the world the secrets they’ve learned through love and loss.
The Couple’s book, 1 Billion Seconds, gives insight to their new understanding of relationships and reveals how they’ve both wondered, “What If?” What if they had stayed together? What if they had worked through the immaturity of college and tried a little bit harder?
Below is a look into the couple’s life and advice for the lovers of today. Trust me, after you read this you’ll be racing to download or grab their book off the shelves.
“What if? Five Ways to Maintain a Grateful Harmony
“What If…” We’ve asked this question many times, sometimes in our head and to each other. As college sweethearts, we separated because of a lack of maturity and communication skills, not because anything was wrong between us. Since we reunited six years ago, we’ve both wondered what would’ve happened had we stayed together.
Don’t get us wrong. We wouldn’t change one thing about our lives. Each blessed with children and life experiences that have shaped who we’ve become, we’re certain that we’ve grown into our relationship today, even more connected than we might have been if together the whole time. How? The short answer is to embrace vulnerability. We wouldn’t have turned tragedy into triumph, gotten back together, or written a book, without having the courage to be 100% vulnerable.
Because we were apart for thirty-two years, and because we experienced other relationships, marriages and divorces, we’re even more grateful, appreciative and mindful of the immense importance of a healthy relationship. We go out of our way to preserve the soulmate stuff we share.
Here are 5 daily things we do to maintain a grateful harmony:
- When there is a disconnect—and it happens—we address the disparity ASAP. If there are other obligations to which we’ve committed, we pause and set up the first available time to share our thoughts. Sometimes, it takes a while to sort them out; sometimes we can’t pinpoint exactly what it is. We brainstorm and problem-solve together.
- We recognize when outside influences have broken through the wall of our synchronized existence. When this occurs, we first identify that it has occurred, and work together to detach from the conflict. We resolve that which is in our power and let go of the things which we cannot control. Repeat: let go of that which we cannot control.
- Take time for one another. It doesn’t have to include money spent on entertainment. Some of the loveliest and most cherished moments have been just sitting and talking. Many times one or both of us retrieve memories to share of many years ago: a first date or the ageless smile.
- Express love and gratitude to one another at least three times in the day: first thing upon waking, and at night before we sleep. The middle of the day might find one of us spontaneously turning to the other to say, “I love you.” Sometimes, and even more meaningful, the I love you comes in the form of action. Geoff, without being asked, hangs up Poppy’s Lulu Lemon clothes that cannot possibly ever go in the dryer or something really bad will happen, like the dryer will blow up.
- Be an open book. Be willing to shed scary thoughts and feelings. Embrace vulnerability. Being exposed is one of the bravest things we can offer the significant people in our lives. When we are vulnerable with our loved one, we honor them with a gift of trust and respect.”
Today, the Poppy and Geoff reside in Sarasota, Florida. With her Master’s Degree in Art Therapy and years of experience, Poppy has started her own practice where she has taken her knowledge of Art Therapy and evolved it into coaching. As a certified Myers Briggs facilitator and seasoned professor of psychology at the Ringling College of Art & Design, she has established herself as a Professional Relationship Coach, helping others for nearly a decade. Geoff Spencer left behind a 25 year career in sales and marketing to join Poppy in coaching.
“If you love something, let it go. If it comes back it’s yours, if it doesn’t it never was.”
Poppy and Geoff Spencer prove the validity of the old saying in the sweetest way. It’s never to late to learn how to love the right way, and it’s never too late to find your soulmate.